First “Book of the Week Review”

In honor of National Book Lovers Day, Tioga Community Library presents you with the very first BOOK OF THE WEEK! I’ve chosen a non-fiction book that I’ve personally read several times. I know I promised a “brief synopsis”, but as I started writing things out, it became more of an outline! Enjoy, and if you think you might like to read this book, come on in to the library and we’ll get you hooked up!

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No
By Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Synopsis: “Boundaries” is a practical and biblically grounded guide that teaches people how to set healthy emotional, relational, physical, and spiritual boundaries. It’s designed to help individuals take responsibility for their own lives and stop taking responsibility for others’ lives inappropriately. The book is structured around common real-life situations and uses biblical principles to reinforce the importance of limits.


Purpose: To help readers set healthy limits in relationships and take responsibility for their own lives—emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.

* “You are responsible to others, but for yourself.”
* Boundaries define what belongs to you—your thoughts, feelings, choices, and limits—and what belongs to others.
* Healthy boundaries allow you to protect your well-being while maintaining loving, respectful relationships.


Key Principles

What Boundaries Are:

  • Clear lines that define what you are responsible for.
  • Emotional, spiritual, and physical limits.
  • Help you say “yes” to the right things and “no” to the wrong things.

    What They Are Not:
  • Walls to keep people out.
  • Excuses to be selfish.
  • Tools for controlling others.
  • Common Boundary Problems.
  • Compliance: Says ‘yes’ to avoid guilt or rejection.
  • Avoidance: Says ‘no’ to healthy connection.
  • Controllers: Push others to do what they want.
  • Non-responsives: Ignore the needs of others.

    How to Set Boundaries
  1. Identify where you lack boundaries.
  2. Own your feelings and needs.
  3. Communicate clearly—say what you mean.
  4. Expect push-back—some won’t like your boundaries.
  5. Hold your ground kindly but firmly.
  6. Let go of guilt—saying “no” is not unloving.

    Boundaries in Different Areas of Life
  • Family: Don’t let guilt drive your decisions.
  • Friends: Recognize toxic or one-sided friendships.
  • Marriage: Stay connected while keeping your identity.
  • Children: Teach responsibility through consequences.
  • Work: Know what’s your responsibility—and what’s not.
  • Self: Manage your own choices, habits, and reactions.
    Biblical Foundation
  • Jesus modeled boundaries (e.g., Mark 1:35–38).
  • The Bible teaches responsibility, not enabling.
  • Real love respects freedom and truth.

    *Notable Quote*
    “Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me.”

    Benefits of Healthy Boundaries
  • Improved relationships
  • Emotional peace
  • Greater self-control
  • Less resentment
  • Clearer identity
  • Closer walk with God

Leave a comment